


Stubborn Love

by Jenkocat25



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arsenal FC, F/M, Stubborn Love, career over love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenkocat25/pseuds/Jenkocat25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellie has been focusing on her career up until the night she that dream. The dream that would bring back a flood of emotions, emotions that she thought she had buried in a box and shoved deep into the closet of forgotten memories. </p><p>No matter how much Ellie tries to run from her past, the love she shared with Aaron would eventually resurface.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little friendly note: Italicized words are usually the inner thoughts of the character(s). 
> 
> CDC is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

It's been some time since Ellie had some alone time especially with such a demanding work schedule. Ellie’s research in biochemical engineering at the CDC demanded all of her time. Science and research are just such important parts of her life that she couldn't imagine doing anything else. Yet something was missing. Being distinguished with a Masters and having published a few papers (editor's note: if you've ever had to write a research paper and wanted to get it published the process can be a major bitch) didn't stop her from wondering if something was missing.

Later that night Ellie laid in bed thinking,  _ “Something is missing...”  _ and after half an hour she finally falls asleep. As she finally passes out, Ellie begins to dream…

The dream is set in a flat in Holloway, London. 

> It appears that Ellie is sitting next to someone. She can't seem to figure out who he is although his mannerisms seem so familiar and yet so distant. She keeps trying to figure out who he is, and can feel how much she adores this ‘stranger'. Touching his premature beard just as he's leaning in for a kiss… 

She wakes up gasping for air. 

Sitting up in bed, Ellie realizes how she has suppressed so many feelings after leaving London and accepting the job at the CDC. It's been at least 2 years since she’s thought of him. It's crazy how people and things change, but she asks herself,  _ “Was it me who changed? Was it him? What happened to us?” _

It's 5am in the morning and Ellie doesn't have to be up for a few more hours. So she just lays in bed staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours feeling numb. Once she arrives at work, Anna her research assistant looks over and makes a small gasp.

> Anna: Holy crap, you look like hell...
> 
> Ellie: Oh thanks haha
> 
> Anna: Sorry I didn't mean anything by it. Are you okay?
> 
> Ellie: Yeah I'm just tired… I woke up at 5am and could go back to sleep. I just feel a bit numb. 
> 
> Anna: What was it about?
> 
> Ellie: Nothing really. Just a dream about my past. It's nothing to fuss about.  

_ It's not like I was running from anything. He should know I loved him… that I might still love him… I don’t know what I'm thinking. I've wanted to work at the CDC since I was a kid… So once I got the opportunity, I had to leave. Even if that meant that we couldn't be together.  _


	2. Chapter 2

Four days Later

Ellie still can't sleep well and she feels like it's beginning to affect her research at the lab. Her research assistants are more than capable of handling and running tests without her, so she decides to take a few days off.  She feels numb and can't seem to get out of bed. Not being as rational as she usually is, Ellie decides to make a phone call across the Atlantic to someone she hadn't talked to in a while. 

> Ellie: Hey… 
> 
> Kieran: Hey Ellie! It's been quite some time since you've rang me on the tele! 
> 
> Ellie: Yeah Gibbo I know. I'm sorry… I've been super busy. How are you?
> 
> Kieran: I'm doing pretty well. The teams doing well. The past two seasons we won the FA cup. 
> 
> Ellie: I feel shitty Gibbo. I've been so busy with my research that I haven't kept up with my favorite team or my favorite boys. 
> 
> Gibbo: Shit happens you know. We all make choices and that's part of life. Maybe you'll catch this weekend's game on TV. 
> 
> Ellie: Yeah I should try. Maybe I'll even call you and give you my critique on your performance
> 
> *Ellie let's out a small laugh*
> 
> Kieran: Haha I'm sure you will… You always gave the best critique. So why did you really call me, El?
> 
> Ellie: I just wanted to see how you were and the guys….
> 
> Kieran: You mean you wanted to see how Aaron was?
> 
> Ellie: I shouldn't have called. You're busy and I didn't mean to be a bother. 
> 
> Kieran: You know I don't mind you calling. You were such an important person to not only Aaron, but all the boys on the team. Hell  Chambo and Theo really miss you and your banter… they still ask about you every now and then.
> 
> Ellie: I know. I should give them a call to apologize for all the lost time. 
> 
> Kieran: Yeah you should do that. Maybe you should give Aaron a call as well. He hasn't seen anyone since you've been gone. 
> 
> Ellie: Yeah maybe I will… thanks again Kieran. I really do miss you guys. I'll talk to you soon?
> 
> Kieran: Yes El. Anytime you want to talk you know I'm here for you. Bye Ellie.
> 
> Ellie: Bye Gibbo *let's out a little warm laugh*

After she hangs up, Ellie can't help but to think that maybe she really did hurt Aaron. She certainly never meant to hurt him intentionally. She vaguely remembers one of her research assistants yammering on about how Wales have finally qualified for a major competition, the Euro Cup in France. “ _ Omg it didn't even dawn on me that Aaron and Wales qualified… How could I be at dense? It's all he's ever wanted… _ ” Ellie begins to sob uncontrollably and the river of tears didn’t stop for an hour as she lays in bed; eventually drifting off to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

Across the Atlantic Ocean

The Arsenal boys are hard at work training for the upcoming weekend fixture. Kieran, Chambo and Theo are running drills and practicing their corner kicks. 

> Kieran: So um El called me the other day.
> 
> Chambo: Omg how's she been? I fucking miss her.
> 
> Theo: You miss everyone… especially Carl. 
> 
> Chambo: Oh shut it. Your turn at the corner. 
> 
> Kieran: She just called to ask how we all are, but I had a feeling she wanted to ask me how Rambo was doing.
> 
> Rambo comes from the other side of the pitch and happens to be in hearing distance of Kieran.
> 
> Aaron: Who wants to know how I'm doing?
> 
> Kieran: Oh yeah no one… um just some random person.
> 
> Theo: Gibbo tell him.
> 
> Aaron: Tell me what?
> 
> Kieran: El called me yesterday. 

Aaron stands there silently staring through his trio of friends.

> Kieran grabs Aaron's shoulder: Aaron? Aaron… Did you hear me?
> 
> Chambo: I think I he heard you. 
> 
> Aaron: I can't do this right now. I'm sorry guys. 

Aaron runs off to the other side of the pitch. 

An hour later practice was complete. Kieran walks into the changing room and finds Aaron sitting on the bench staring down at his feet with his head between his hands. He sits down by Aaron.

> Aaron: What did she say? I need to know.
> 
> Kieran: Nothing really. Just how she missed us all. I told her maybe it would be nice if she gave the guys a call… And maybe to give you a call.
> 
> Aaron: You shouldn't have done that Gib. My head hurts so much and I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up. 
> 
> Kieran: Don't you want her to call you? 
> 
> Aaron: Well yes and fucking no. I'm afraid if she does I'm going to fall apart like I did two years ago. Kieran I still miss her and I don't know if I could ever forgive her for leaving me. 
> 
> Kieran: I know Aaron… but suppressing your feelings isn't going to make things better. 
> 
> Aaron: I'm going to go home.

Aaron walks to his black Range Rover and once inside he begins to look in his glove compartment for The CD. Before Ellie decided to leave London three years ago… She made Aaron a CD. He hadn't played it in a whole year. He had hidden the CD a year ago, just like he decided to suppress his anguish for Ellie.

[Flashback]

> Ellie: When you're feeling sad, listen to this CD. Just get lost in the music. Don't over think things like you usually do. (giving Aaron a smile)
> 
> Aaron: How can I listen to songs that make me think of you?
> 
> Ellie reaching for his hand: You don't have to listen to them if you don't want to baby.
> 
> Aaron: What I want is you… Not a CD that will remind me of you.
> 
> *Aaron withdraws his hand from Ellie’s hand.*
> 
> Ellie: I get you're upset…
> 
> Aaron: I don't think you fucking know how much I fucking love you El. It's like you're ripping my heart out of my chest, throwing it on the ground and then stomping on it. 
> 
> Ellie: Okay I get it. Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow?
> 
> Aaron: I don't know. I need some time.
> 
> Ellie: Okay I understand. I'll just get Amber to drop me off at the Airport…
> 
> Aaron: Okay.

Aaron speeds over after Ellie gets out of his car.

Olivier knocks on Aaron's window and immediately snaps him out of his trance.

Aaron rolls down the window.

> Aaron: Hey Oli, what's up?
> 
> Olivier: You're blocking me in. I didn't want to bother you so I sat in my car for 10 minutes. Is everything okay?
> 
> Aaron: Yeah I was just thinking. Let me get out of your way haha.
> 
> Olivier: Okay thanks mon petit Welshie.

Aaron speeds off from the training ground back to his house playing the CD that Ellie had made for him. He arrives at his house with anger and sadness raging from deep within. He enters his house and absolutely breaks down. He can no longer hold back the tears and punches the wall leading to his bedroom. Feeling defeated and with a throbbing fist, Aaron heads to his bed where he accidentally knocks over a picture frame off his nightstand just before passing out on his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a couple of days since Ellie contacted Kieran. She couldn't help thinking that maybe he was right.  _ Maybe I should call Aaron. We spent so many years together and even had to deal with his two year loan spell at Nottingham Forest and Cardiff City. We barely got to see each other during those two years. How did we fall so far apart? I always thought we would stay friends even after I moved. Wishful thinking. _

Suddenly her phone lights up. It's a text from Kieran.

Text exchange

> Kieran: Hey El.
> 
> Ellie: Ah! Gibbo :) I was just thinking about you.
> 
> Kieran: Haha we were always like twins weren't we? Yeah we (Chambo and Theo) we're just thinking about you…. Aaron too.
> 
> Ellie: … what happened Gibbo?
> 
> Kieran: Aaron overheard me talking to Chambo and Theo... all he heard was me mentioning his name and wanted to know why. I didn't want to say it, but Theo made me.
> 
> Kieran: El are you upset with me? You haven't made a sound for 2 minutes…
> 
> Ellie: Gib I could never be mad at you. I'm just upset about the situation. I fucked up  bad.
> 
> Kieran: We all do from time to time. Aaron hasn't been to training in two days. He won't answer my calls.
> 
> Ellie: He's probably just locked up in his house.
> 
> Kieran: Wenger figured it was family trouble and gave Aaron a few days off.
> 
> Ellie: Arsene I miss him too. He always gave the best little talks.
> 
> Kieran: So you've been okay?
> 
> Ellie: Yeah I'm taking a bit of a sabbatical from my research. I'm letting my main research student run the lab. She will report to me every couple of days so I don't go insane ha.
> 
> Kieran: You're just laying in bed aren't you? You need to get up and go do something
> 
> Ellie: I can't Kieran. I'm so tired and weak.
> 
> Kieran: How long is this sabbatical??
> 
> Ellie: For a max of a year.
> 
> Kieran: Come home El. Take a break.
> 
> Ellie: I highly doubt you guys or Aaron want to see the mess I am. I can't stop crying...
> 
> Kieran: Aaron is an absolute mess. Please just come. We don't care how much time we get with you as long as we can see you.
> 
> Ellie: Let me think about it Gib. I'll get back to you. Oh hey Kieran? Can you send me Aaron's number?
> 
> Kieran: Sure I'll send it to you right away.

_ It seems more and more inevitable that I'm going to have to contact Aaron soon. I remember when I first left… He wouldn't even answer my calls. I had to settle for the occasional text and those weren't enough--short cold responses. Almost as if I were talking to a machine. _

Ellie looks through some old photos she's managed to save over the years. Ones of her and Aaron galavanting through Europe on their summer vacations from their ever hectic life of graduate school and the long grueling football season that was the ELP.

_ I'm just going to call him. _

Ellie opens up her phone book to make the call that she's been dreading for the past week.

> Ring. Ring. Ring.
> 
> Hi this is Aaron. Sorry I've missed you… leave me a message or just call me back later.
> 
> Beep…

_ I wanted to say something. Anything. But nothing was coming out. So I sat there for 3 minutes without words or tears, just silence. _

_ I finally hung up and wondered if Aaron would know it's me. It's not like I've changed my number… I've had the same number (from the US) since I was overseas in London at University (UCL) getting my undergraduate degree. _

Ellie defeated by her emotions, decided to just go to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Aaron checks his phone and there’s a missed call. He opens up his phonebook only to see a familiar number. The phone slips out of his hands and on to the floor.

_Shit what the fuck. I bet Gibbo has something to do with this. I told Ellie two years ago that I couldn’t bear hearing her voice. She understood and never sent me a call. She figured that I had finally had enough and found someone else, but there was no one else and I don’t know if there ever will be…_

Aaron finally picks up his phone and notices a voicemail. _Oh God she didn’t really leave a voicemail did she? Holy shit 3 minutes?_  
He calls his voicemail and listens to the whole three minutes of silence. Aaron knew it was Ellie by the way she breathes. Aaron opens up the call log on his phone, takes a deep breath before pressing the call button.

“Don’t pick up. Don’t pick up.” Aaron frantically whispers to himself.  
Someone finally picks up the phone. 

>  Ellie: Hello?  
>  Aaron: Uh…  
>  Ellie: Rambo?  
>  *Click*

_I fucking broke down when she called me Rambo. The way she said it always gave me the chills and it fucking kills me that I still love her so much._

Aaron notices the fallen picture frame, the glass is shattered. It’s a picture of Ellie and Aaron dancing to their favorite song, Flowers In Your Hair by The Lumineers ([X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXIvrH8zj2c)). The broken glass from the frame was like their broken love; broken shards of glass stabbed into their still-beating hearts.

Aaron lays in bed hugging the picture frame, with swirling emotions of both sadness and regret. Regret of letting his pride get in the way of what his heart truly wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

_ What the crap was that? He called me and then he hung up. I can't do this today. Why can't we just talk? Plenty of couples talk after their relationship ends. _

Over the past three years after Ellie moved back to the US, both she and Aaron have tried dating other people on a few occasions; none of which ever panned out. There was one suitor that she could always count on even if she could never commit to him. She grabs some keys and gets into her red Toyota 4runner that just so happens to have a customized Gner4lyf license plate. Half an hour later, she arrives at the house of her ex-boyfriend. Ellie and Michael ended their short relationship amicably and kept in touch after their breakup. She even became good friends with his girlfriend who Michael ended up marrying.

> Ellie knocks on the brightly painted crimson red door.
> 
> Sarah: Ah! Ellie! We've missed you.
> 
> Sarah was the perfect girl. She was a mixture of witty, charming, sweet, and caring all wrapped into one. Ellie particularly admired her charity work with Alzheimer's disease.
> 
> Ellie giving Sarah a hug: It's so good to see you sweetie. Is Michael here? I kind of need some advice.
> 
> Sarah: Yea he'll be home soon. Come on in and let's have some tea and cupcakes.
> 
> Ellie: You always made the best cupcakes haha
> 
> Sarah smiles at Ellie
> 
> Sarah: How's the research going?
> 
> Ellie: Oh it's going pretty well. I'm actually on a bit of a sabbatical. I just needed a break. Sara, you know how I can be… sometimes I tend to surround myself with work and push my emotions to the side.
> 
> Sarah: I know. I still worry about that. I just wish you would take some time more often to focus on your emotional well being. You can't run forever right?
> 
> Ellie: Haha you're right. I guess I'm just going to have to figure things out within this year that I have off.
> 
> Sarah: Good and we'll always be here for you.

In walks Michael and before greeting Ellie, he walks over to give his wife a kiss. Sarah gives him a quick peck, flashes her award winning smile at Ellie before excusing herself so that the old friends can catch up.

> Michael: El we haven't seen you in a couple of months! How are you?
> 
> Ellie: I'm doing fine. I'm just really tired.
> 
> Michael: I've known you for some time El. I know when you aren't fine. So, what's really up?
> 
> Ellie: I've been having some real mind puzzling dreams and I don't know what to think about them. They're kind of like nightmares if you will.
> 
> Michael: Are they the same nightmares that you used to get when we were together? The ones about… Aaron?
> 
> Ellie: I don't know. Was I that transparent when we were together?
> 
> Michael: I don't think you ever meant to hurt anyone. Sometimes in life some people have a single soulmate, while others have multiple soulmates. I should thank you everyday for not stringing me along because that led me to Sarah.
> 
> Ellie: I hope to have something similar to what you and Sara have one day. Are you trying to say that he might be my soulmate?
> 
> Michael: I don't think that there is a possibility that you guys are soulmates... I know that you guys are.
> 
> Ellie: I don't know what to do Michael. I contacted Kieran after having that dream and he suggested that I should give Aaron a call. I did, but I think he was avoiding me and the call went straight to voicemail.
> 
> Michael: El I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you should write him a letter if he's not willing to answer your phone calls. I wouldn't send him a text because it's not as personal. Let him know exactly how you are feeling.
> 
> Ellie: Okay I'll do that. Thank you Michael.

I say my goodbyes to Michael and Sarah. As I drive away, I wave at my friends who are embracing each other adoringly.

_ I head home to begin writing this grueling letter to the man who meant… who still means so much to me. We were just kids in our late teens when we first met and now we're adults. Adults… I scoff at myself as I think of how we all become far too busy trying to make something of ourselves that we forgot to live and most importantly love. _


	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks after Aaron made that call to Ellie.

Aaron and Kieran arrived at Aaron's house after the morning training session. During practice Aaron suffered a grade 2 hamstring strain that guaranteed a recovery time of at least two to six weeks. As if the looming relationship problem wasn’t enough, his injury would be the cherry on top of the crappy sundae that is life. 

Kieran walks down the curvy driveway to collect Aaron's mail from the mailbox. He immediately notices an envelope addressed from Ellie to Aaron. 

> Aaron: Thanks for getting my mail Gib.
> 
> Kieran looking away from Aaron: Yeah no problem…
> 
> Aaron: What's wrong? Why are you acting weird?
> 
> Kieran shows Ellie’s letter to Aaron.
> 
> _ I don't want to open this. I've tried to avoid having an actual conversation with her for such a long time to protect myself, but how do you avoid someone who was such a big part of your life?  _
> 
> Kieran: Rambo? Are you going to open it?
> 
> Aaron: Not right now… Let's go play some FIFA. 
> 
> Kieran giving his friend a look of concern: Okay let's go. I'm going to beat you into submission haha.

Later that night after Kieran left, Aaron laid in bed staring at the envelope that he was holding above his head. The envelope was symbolic of how Ellie and their relationship still looms over his life. 

He finally pulls the trigger. He slowly and carefully opens the envelope as if he was trying to preserve every little detail.

> Dear Aaron,
> 
> Hi. Hello…. Um I don't know the best way to begin this letter. You didn’t answer my phone call and when you called me, you hung up without saying a word. I'm assuming it was your way of telling me you still haven’t forgiven me. Of course I don't expect you to forgive me.  I never meant to hurt you. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice when I called you… I miss that Welsh accent and face of yours. I miss all of your quirky Welsh superstitions. I won't seek you out anymore. I'm sure despite what everyone has told me, you've actually moved on and are finally happy. So I guess this is my final goodbye. If I had a choice then we would… I should have listened to your wishes when I first left. I won't call or write you. I've changed my number in the event that you decide to take pity on me by calling me back. I didn't mean to open up old wounds. 
> 
> I'll always care for you Aaron. Please take care of yourself.
> 
> ~~ Love, ~~
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Ellie

_ What did she want to say? What did she mean by “If I had a choice then we would…” Why couldn't she finish her train of thought? She didn't mean to hurt me, but my foolish pride stood in the way all these years. How can she possibly think that I've finally moved on? I’m such an ass. I need a fucking drink.  _

“Hey Gib, get the boys together and let's go out. I need a distraction” says Aaron as he stares at Ellie’s ‘final words’ to him. 

_ I just want to drink and forget about this day; first my injury and then this letter. I feel so fucking numb and I don't want to wake up sober tomorrow realizing that I'm not the only one who is hurt. I'm no angel and I know I fucked up. There's probably no coming back from this. God why am I like this. _

Kieran, Alex, and Calum arrive at Aaron’s house. All the boys are dressed to impress, especially Aaron. He has on a red long sleeve button down shirt and dark washed jeans that just gripped onto his ass and thighs. 

> Kieran: Damn my main man looks fine as hell. 
> 
> Alex: He’s alright… BUT what about my outfit? 
> 
> Calum: Yeah what about Chambo’s outfit? It’s hot. 
> 
> Kieran: Okay you two calm down. This isn’t London's Next Top Model. We all look fine.
> 
> Aaron: I’m fucking ready to get wasted. Fuck everything man.

The trio of friends look at each other and shrug awkwardly before agreeing with Aaron. They didn't want to upset him any further since he seemed on edge. Aaron had all the intentions of finding some hot piece of ass to fuck, to help release some frustration. Kieran knew what and who Aaron really needed, but it seems like the hope that he had for his two friends has disappeared.

_ I just need to fucking release some stress. Plus I'm Aaron Ramsey… Who the doesn't want to be with me?... Besides Ellie that is. Fuck her for leaving me.  _

Once they arrived at the club, they were seated at their usual VIP table. They started the night off with double shots of tequila — they took shot after shot, until everything started to feel fuzzy. Kieran wanted to keep their little party an all Bro hang out, but Chambo had other plans for them. He asked the bouncer to bring over four of the hottest chicks.

> Alex: Me and my man man Calum are going to take two of these lovely ladies to the dance floor.
> 
> Calum: I want the brunnette. 
> 
> Alex: Good because I like blondes anyways.

Kieran can tell that there were going to be some drama filled events within the next couple of hours. He catches this amazingly curvy yet petite woman laughing and touching Aaron’s thigh. Half an hour later, Aaron and this mystery woman got up and began to head for the nearest exit. This task of moving a tipsy Aaron seemed a daunting for this scantily dressed woman. Kieran knew that this woman had bad intentions; she was hastily trying to get Aaron alone.

> Kieran: Aaron! You’re not going with her. You’ll regret it in the morning.
> 
> Aaron: Gibbooo! I just want to forget about her…. her face, her laugh, her love… 
> 
> Kieran: I know Rambo. I know.
> 
> Aaron: You know what you’re right! I will regret it.  SHE deserves to fucking hear my anguish! Aaron runs to the car, gets into the back and locks himself inside. 
> 
> Kieran: Aaron come on open the door! 
> 
> Aaron: Not until I talk to her! She fucked me up!! Fucking bitch. 

Kieran just stood there waiting for Aaron to make the long awaited call knowing good and well that he didn’t have Ellie’s new number.

“I’m going to call Ellie now! THE fucking LOVE of my fucking LIFE!” Aaron hisses as he tries to find the call button on his iPhone.

“For fucks sake the numbers disconnected! I forgot she changed her number! Kieran you have the new number don’t you??” Aaron screams through the window.

> Kieran: Aaron you know I shouldn’t give you the number…
> 
> Aaron: Please Gibbo. I need to tell her things… and how I feeeeeel.
> 
> Kieran: Fine. I’ll send it to you via text since you refuse to unlock the doors!

Over in Georgia, it’s barely 10pm and Ellie is getting ready for bed. It’s been two weeks since Ellie mailed off her final words to Aaron (or so she thought). She’s trying to begin the road to recovery and exploring a part of her that she lost a long time ago — it’s easy to lose yourself in your work and she was no exception. 

Phone rings

_ Oh my… Aaron? Crap Gibbo! I asked him not to give Aaron my number.  _

Ellie’s brain tells her not to answer, but her heart and finger seems to have a mind of their own.

> Aaron: ELLIE! EL! ELLLLLLLIEEE! 
> 
> Ellie: Aaron…?
> 
> Aaron: I didn’t think you were going to answer! I’m so ffucken drunk. I thought you were going to fuck me over again.
> 
> Ellie: Aaron go home and go to bed…
> 
> Aaron: WHY DON’T YOU LOOOVE MEE ANYMORE EL? I thought it was going to be you and me against the world!
> 
> Ellie: Aaron… I never stopped loving you. For fuck sakes man. I can’t believe you would think I could just stop loving you. 
> 
> Aaron: I’m bringing this girl home with me tonight. Let me send you a pic. She’s so hot!
> 
> Ellie: If that’s what you want Aaron, then go ahead and do it… do her. I’m not going to stop you. I’m DONE being hurt by your passive aggressiveness. Fuck You. Goodbye.
> 
> Aaron: Ellie? EL?? Fuck she hung up.

Ellie curls up in the fetal position and begins to sob uncontrollably. She can’t bear to think that Aaron’s about to have sex to spite her. If he wanted to defeat her, then he’ll have to try harder than that to undo her strong will.


	8. Chapter 8

Ellie thought she would feel better after sleeping the shittastic night away, especially after telling Aaron to go fuck off. She couldn’t have been more wrong — she was absolutely livid. 

_ Who did he think he was anyways? Pretending like the five years they we were together meant nothing to him was absolutely cruel and gut wrenching. Those five years meant so much to me… maybe I never really even knew him at all. Could our love just have been a lie?   _

Although she’s been an Arsenal fan for most of her life, she just couldn’t bear to see a house full of  Gunner mementos. She began placing the items (photos, flags, scarfs, etc.) into a cardboard box. Out of sight out of mind. _ I never thought I would be stuffing all my favorite items into a box and shoving it into the back of my closet. _

While continuously adding items into the box that is sitting on the side table in the living room, Ellie knocks over a picture frame, that held a photo that Aaron had given her during her final year in London. She picks up the photo and places it on the coffee table before she starts sweeping up the mess that is her life. A few moments later a breeze comes blowing through the the open window in the living room knocking the photo on to the floor. Ellie notices that the photo is now on the floor and sighs as she reaches from the couch to pick it up—there’s writing on the back of the photo.

“Whoa there’s writing on the back of this photo,” says Ellie as her heart drops from fear of what is written on the back. 

> 06-10-2011
> 
> Ellie, 
> 
> You have a year left here in London. I know I have to let you go. I saw your application for the position at the CDC. I won’t ask you to stay here in London with me because that would be selfish. I’m writing this as I watch you sleep. I just can’t imagine not laying next to you every night and waking up to your sweet floral scent— the way you wake up with a smile on your face to the way you kiss me goodnight every single night. Maybe you’ll come back to me in a few years and maybe you won’t, just know that you’ve forever changed me in the best and worst possible way. So please understand when I act like a fucking asshole so that you don’t feel like you have to stay. Your career is more important and I would never ask you to give that up even if that means I die a bit on the inside. 
> 
> Love, 
> 
> Aaron

_ Who the fuck does he think he is? He made the decision for me by pushing me away. I thought this was what he wanted. I thought he no longer loved me. We could tried to make long a distance relationship work, even if the whole world would have been against us. It would have still been US against the world. I just can’t fucking see why I couldn’t have it all… The perfect career and the perfect man.  _

_ “ _ NO this ASSHOLE has no say on how I run my life. If I wanted to stay in London, then I would have and nothing he could have said or done would have changed my mind. I’m not saying that I would have passed up the career of a lifetime for love, but I deserve the right to decide what happens in my life,” Ellie says as she whips out her MacBook. 

Ellie opens up google travel to search for the earliest flight she can get for London. She picks the next available flight that leaves the next day. 

_ I can’t believe he fucking did this. He wasn’t protecting me. Fucking hiding his selfish emotions by pushing me away.  _

The next day she gets Anna (her research assistant) to drop her off at the airport. It’s an evening flight and she’ll arrive in London by morning. 

> Ellie: Thanks Anna. I owe you one.
> 
> Anna: What are you going to do once you get there?
> 
> Ellie: Since I’m getting there in the morning. I’m going straight to the little BITCH who thought it was a good idea to make decisions for me. 
> 
> Anna: Haha… don’t kill him okay??
> 
> Ellie: OH! I make no promises.

Nine hours later the plane finally lands in London. Ellie rents a small black car and heads straight for the Arsenal training center. No one knows that there’s about to be a storm brewing at the training ground. 

It’s 10am and the boys are walking off the training pitch and headed to the changing room. Calum, Alex, Kieran, Theo, and Aaron all linger on pitch for a little while longer.

> Alex: Hey you alright buddy? 
> 
> Kieran: Of course he isn’t alright! You let some skank feel up on him! 
> 
> Calum: HEY! SHE HAS A NAME AND FEELINGS YOU KNOW?
> 
> Theo: Shut it Cal. This isn’t the time haha.
> 
> Aaron: I’m fine. That night was the final straw. I know Ellie will never forgive for all the shit that I’ve put her through.

Just as they were about to leave the pitch to change out of their sweaty training kits. They see a little black car screeching to a halt 100 feet away. 

“Oh my fucking God. Is that Ellie,” Aaron whispers in shock.

“Oh shit,” Kieran mutters.

“Oh it’s about to go down,” says a hyped up Alex. 

Theo smacks Alex on his arm to let him know that he shouldn’t condone a flight between the El and Aaron. 

> Ellie: You fucking asshole! How dare you? You pushed me away!
> 
> Aaron: Ellie listen…
> 
> Ellie: NO you listen. I finally going to put this shit show behind me until I found that note you wrote to me. YOU know the one behind the framed photo that you gave me a year before I left.
> 
> Aaron: How did you find that?
> 
> Ellie: I FUCKING DROPPED IT ON THE DAMN FLOOR AARON!  BROKEN GLASS EVERYWHERE! 
> 
> Aaron: I’m sorry. I thought it was the right…

Ellie starts slapping Aaron on the chest and arms as tears stream down her face. Theo ends up holding Ellie back as Aaron looks up speechless with tear shocked eyes. 

Ellie keeps screaming, “I can’t believe you!” 

Aaron runs off the pitch and Kieran follows him to the parking lot. 

> Kieran: Rambo! Just stop for a minute and calm down!
> 
> Aaron: Gib! I can’t it hurts too much. I fucked her up and I deserve all that anger she unleashed onto me.
> 
> Kieran: Let’s get you home and changed into some comfy clothes. We can go for drinks later to unwind. 
> 
> Aaron: Okay let’s go.

As soon as Theo sees Kieran and Aaron drive away, he releases Ellie and tries to calm her down.

> Theo: El. What are you doing?
> 
> Ellie: Theo. He ruined us. He never truly loved me because he if he had loved me, then he would have never let me go. 
> 
> Theo: Babe. Listen. You’ve got it all wrong. He loves you so much that he had to let you go. He wanted you to experience life and he didn’t want you to resent him for keeping you here in London. Aaron has never gotten over you.
> 
> Ellie: I just can’t do this anymore Theo… I want to be done with this. I can’t stand to be hurt anymore. 
> 
> Theo: I understand. Well let’s just calm down and you can stay with Melanie and I until you figure out what you are going to do. 
> 
> Ellie: Okay. Thanks Theo.

Theo and Ellie arrive at his house. Before they left the training center, Theo sent a text to his wife to let her know about the events that have transpired between Ellie and Aaron. Melanie comes out of the house to greet her hubby and Ellie.

> Melanie: ELLIE! Omgosh
> 
> Ellie: Mel… How are you?
> 
> Melanie: I’ve been better. The baby is just keeping us busy. 
> 
> Ellie: Aw I heard about that. Did you get my card?
> 
> Melanie: Yes I did, thank you. I really appreciated. I have the guest room all fix up and ready for you. 
> 
> Ellie: Is it okay if I just lay down for a little bit in the sunroom?
> 
> Melanie: Oh honey of course it is okay! 

Ellie heads off to the sunroom. She’s exhausted from the jetlag and especially from her encounter with Aaron.  _ I feel so crappy. My head, my chest, my heart… all hurt far too much.  _ Several minutes later, Ellie passes out and begins dreaming.

[Dream]

> In this dream, she never moved over to London for University and therefore never met Aaron. Although in this “alternate timeline” Ellie is still an avid fan of Arsenal, but she can’t understand how WAGs handle all that Media pressure. She stayed in the US and went to the prestigious university in Atlanta, Emory University. This is where she meets her boyfriend who will eventually becomes her husband. The two get married after getting their undergraduate degrees. Ellie seems happy enough to be married to him. They both managed to get into graduate programs at the University of North Carolina. Six months into their first year of graduate school, Ellie falls ill and makes a routine visit to the doctor where she discovers that she is pregnant and subsequently drops out of her graduate program. She sacrifices her career to raise their child together. Not that there is anything wrong with being a housewife—Ellie just felt stressed with the amount of pressure associated with having to work a full time job to support their little family and having to raise a child all by herself while her husband focused on getting his Masters. 

Ellie wakes up in a sweat soaked t-shirt and tears in her eyes. _Was it really better to have loved Aaron than never to have loved him at all? Maybe Aaron was looking out for me by pushing me away slowly. I would have stayed, but I doubt I would have resented him. He is the love of my life and I’ve probably ruined any possibility of him still loving me._

A few moments later, Melanie comes rushing into the sunroom obviously flushed from crying. 

> Ellie: Mel, Babe. What’s wrong??
> 
> Melanie: El… El…
> 
> Ellie: Melanie. Use your words. 
> 
> Melanie: There’s been an accident…. 
> 
> Ellie: Omg is it Theo??? Is he okay?
> 
> Melanie: No. It’s Aaron.

_ I froze. I didn’t know whether to cry, throw up, or both.  _

> _   
>  _ Ellie: What happened…. were the police involved? He can't get in trouble. Arsene is going to be so pissed.
> 
> Melanie: As far as I know... No.

Theo comes in softly speaking and says with a somber face, “Come in ladies, let's go to the hospital.”


	9. Chapter 9

It took them thirty minutes to arrive at the hospital. The trio rushed to the front desk to ask for Aaron.

> Ellie: Um we are looking for Aaron Ramsey? 
> 
> Nurse: Are you family?
> 
> Ellie: We are um friends… Well we were dating, but um Idk.
> 
> Nurse: I’m sorry. I can’t let you in unless if you’re family.
> 
> Theo: I’m his friend, but we’re more like family. Do you think you could just give us a free pass?
> 
> Nurse: Omg Mr. Hamilton I didn’t see you there. Of course we can make some arrangements.

Melanie giggles and that helps to lighten the mood a bit.

> Ellie: Mr. Hamilton thank you for your help. I’m so glad Aaron has you for a friend. 
> 
> Theo: I know. I try my best in between formula one championships.
> 
> Ellie: Haha how I have missed your sense of humor. 
> 
> Theo: I know. We’ve all missed you. You did wonders for the us all. 

They were having this little talk as the nurse led them to the waiting room.

“We will call you when we place him into a private room,” the nurse says with a sympathetic face. 

They thanked the nurse and looked for a place to sit down. The trio sees Gib sitting by himself oblivious to the world around him. 

> Ellie: Hey Gibbo. You okay? 

Kieran tries to get up, but falls back into his chair. Ellie kneels down holding Kieran’s left hand. She looks over at Theo and Melanie embracing each other, trying to hold each other up. She turns her attention back to Kieran and stares at his face with warm eyes. The best thing she could do was keep calm so that Kieran would feel calm. 

> Ellie: Gib. What happened?
> 
> Kieran: El… oh God.
> 
> Ellie: It’s okay babe. We got this. Tell me what happened.
> 
> Kieran: Well we drove away from the training center towards his house. We sat in his living room as he cried for hours and eventually fell asleep. I let him sleep, but an hour later I heard him pleading and grabbing the air. 
> 
> Ellie: Pleading for what? And grabbing the air? 
> 
> Kieran: I think he was dreaming about earlier today… It looked like he was trying to get you to stop hitting him and to listen. 
> 
> Ellie: Oh I see. 
> 
> Kieran: It doesn’t end there. I had to shake him awake. He told me that we should go get drinks at the pub and so we got into his car. 
> 
> Ellie: Gib it isn’t your fault you know that right? You were just trying to be a good friend.
> 
> Kieran: I guess. Idk I just couldn’t stop him.
> 
> Ellie: What do you mean?
> 
> Kieran: He had gotten so drunk at the pub and I couldn’t stop him! I tried to grab the beer from him, but he shoved me away and I fell onto a table. I cursed him out and a fight broke out between us. Someone had to pull us apart. Aaron stormed out of the pub and jumped into his SUV. He sped off before I could stop him. 
> 
> Ellie: Oh God..
> 
> Kieran: Since I only had half of my beer I borrowed the Manager (who happens to be a close friend of ours) of the pub’s car to follow Aaron. He drove for 15 minutes and was swerving in and out of the lane. We were going down this empty road when he swerved and violently struck a lamp post. 
> 
> Ellie: No… 
> 
> Kieran: Yes. I got out of the car and ran to open the driver's side door. He wasn’t responsive so I moved him from his SUV and laid him down in the back seat of the car. I carefully drove him over to the Emergency Room. They took him to get a CT scan; to scan for broken bones, organ tears, spinal tears, etc. 
> 
> Ellie: How long have they been looking at him?
> 
> Kieran: It seems like an eternity! Idk we got here at 5:58 pm, so possibly two hours. 

Ellie and Kieran look at each other as tears form in their eyes.

The nurse comes over and touches Ellie on her shoulder before saying, “He’s in a private intensive care unit room. I’ll take you four to go see him. It is important to stay calm because he is still out. We had to sedate him so he wouldn’t wake up mid CT scan. He should be awake in an hour.”

  
Ellie manages to release a whimper of gratitude, “Thank you so much.”

They all walk into Aaron’s room. Kieran couldn’t stand looking at his best friend like that so he does what he always does best and gives us a polite excuse to leave the room—he told us he had to make a phone call. We just knew that he couldn’t handle this situation. Melanie and Theo stared sympathetically at me as I stood there petrified.

> Theo and Melanie: We’ll go back out to the waiting room. You take your time Ellie. 
> 
> Ellie: Okay. Thank you guys. 
> 
> Ellie pulls up a chair beside Aaron’s bed side and crosses her arms before sitting down.

[Three hours later] 

Aaron’s condition still hasn’t changed and apparently he’s still under anesthesia. The nurse comes in to talk to Theo and Ellie. 

> Nurse: Some patients need more time for the anesthesia to wear off.
> 
> Ellie: Oh we understand… 
> 
> Nurse: If he wakes up, then don’t hesitate to come over to the nursing station to alert us.
> 
> Ellie: Yes ma’am. Thank you.
> 
> Theo: El. You don’t have to be strong for us. Gibbo and Mel will be just fine. Do you want to talk?
> 
> Ellie: Theo you’ve known me for some time. You know exactly what I’d say in a situation like this. I’m mad as hell, but I have to keep calm for everyone’s sanity. 
> 
> Theo: Have you tried talking to him?
> 
> Ellie: Ha ha. You mean like right now? OR when I hit him over and over again this morning? 
> 
> Theo: Ellie. I heard sometimes all someone needs is a love one to talk to them and they might wake up. 
> 
> Ellie: I don’t know Theo. 
> 
> Theo: Just try it. I’m going to go check on Mel and Gib.

Ellie sits on the edge of Aaron’s hospital bed. She’s facing him, unable to utter a word at first. Her sorrow quickly turns into a bit of anger.

“Your actions were fucking ridiculous… How could you do this to the ones you love? If you could see the hurt on the faces of Kieran, Theo and Mel, then I highly doubt you would ever have done something this foolish. I hate you Aaron. I hate you for making my choice for me three years ago. I hate that you pushed me away. I hate that you STOPPED talking to me. It felt like I lost a big part of me,” she said nearly in tears. 

Ellie flicks Aaron on his nose and messes up his still perfectly styled hair. 

_I loved when his hair was messy. I loved when I was the only one allowed to touch his hair. I loved how much he loved me when he did love me…_

She cups his right hand that happens to be free of any IV needles or a pulse oximeter (measures the oxygen level of your blood) with her hands. Ellie’s less angry now and there’s a bit of softness that creeps into her as she held on to Aaron’s hand. A few moments later Aaron’s vitals flat line.

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

A doctor comes and tells Ellie that she needs to move. 

> Doctor: Ma’am you have to leave! Nurse Mary get the crash cart ready!
> 
> Nurse: It’s ready Dr. James!
> 
> Ellie: OMG! YOU CAN’T DIE ON ME AARON! 
> 
> Doctor: GET HER OUT OF HERE.

The last thing she’s able to see is Dr. James performing CPR on Aaron. As she’s walking out to the waiting room to tell everyone what has just transpired, the room starts to spin and the last thing she remembers is Melanie running towards her. Ellie passes out in the middle of the waiting room. 


	10. Chapter 10

[Two days later]

Ellie wakes up in a hospital bed in a shared room, but there’s a curtain drawn splitting the room into two halves.

“Omg! Mel! MEL!” Ellie yells for her friend.

Melanie rushes in and hurries to Ellie’s side. 

> Melanie: Oh sweetie you’re okay. You’re okay! Calm down.
> 
> Ellie: AARON! He flatlined! 
> 
> Melanie: Yeah we know. You came running out of the room in hysterics and mumbling ‘He’s going to die isn’t he. He’s going to die.’
> 
> Ellie: Oh God….

Theo comes speed walking in like the speed devil he is. 

> Theo: Ellie he’s fine. They were able to get his vitals back up and yesterday he woke up. 
> 
> Ellie: How long have I been out??

Kieran from a corner of the room mutters, “You’ve been out for two days. I thought we were going to lose you too… God Ellie.”

> Ellie: Oh Gib, I didn’t mean to make you worry. Where’s Aaron? 

Theo looks at Ellie before pulling open the curtain. There behind the curtain was Aaron sleeping. 

> Ellie: Theo help me up please. I need to see him.
> 
> Theo: Not right now El. He’s sleeping. He was asking about you yesterday. I told him to not worry about it and that I would notify him of any updates. 

While everyone is focused on Ellie’s half of the room, they all hear Aaron softly saying something.

> Aaron: Theo. I need to see her. Please.
> 
> Ellie: Aaron..?
> 
> Aaron: Baby I’m fine. Theo can you please.

Theo obliges and swoops Ellie into his arms as she uses her arms to hold onto Theo’s neck. 

> Theo: It’s a good thing these IV bags are on poles with wheels…. 

Aaron scoots the best he can to one side of the bed so that Ellie can lay next to him. Theo lays Ellie next to Aaron. 

> Theo: We’ll give you guys some time. 

The trio exit the room leaving Aaron and Ellie in each other’s arms. Ellie places her head on Aaron’s chest as Aaron interlocks his fingers with Ellies. Her hands were the proper size for his hands, they molded perfectly together.

> Ellie: Aaron… I
> 
> Aaron: No… El. Let me start. I heard what you said to me when I was out like a light.
> 
> Ellie not wanting to look up at his face says, “Oh…”
> 
> Aaron: Ellie the love of my life. I was fucking selfish… I never considered your feelings. I thought I was protecting you. 
> 
> Ellie: I didn’t need you to protect me like that. I needed you to love me and let me choose what I thought was right for me.
> 
> Aaron: I get that now. I’m sorry.
> 
> Ellie: I never wanted to break up. I could never hate you… I was just angry.
> 
> Aaron: I really thought I had fucked up for the final time. This fool fuckery that I’ve been doing. I was acting like a total wanker.
> 
> Ellie: I thought you died and I didn’t get a chance to tell you how foolish we have been. 
> 
> Aaron: I COULD never leave you. How would it have looked when I got to the pearly gates up in the clouds, if I had left the love of my life that soon? 

Ellie looks up at Aaron with tears in her eyes, who in turn plants a soft kiss on her forehead. 

> Aaron: It’s going to be okay Ellie. Nothing’s ever been this clear in my life.

The next day Ellie and Aaron were both discharged. Theo, Melanie and Gibbo take them back to Aaron’s house. They help the two of them into his house before leaving. 

> Ellie: You haven’t changed much.
> 
> Aaron: How could I change anything, when everything reminded me of you? I could push you away, but I still needed these items. If I threw them away, then things would have been too real. 

Ellie just looked at Aaron with love. 

> Aaron: So you have a choice to make. Are you going back to the US or are you going to stay here with me. 
> 
> Ellie: Oh I finally get to choose? 
> 
> Aaron: Haha yes. You don’t have to decide right now. Maybe tell me your answer in the morning. 
> 
> Ellie: I think I’m going back….
> 
> Aaron: Oh… I see.

Ellie with a sly smile says, “I’m only joking. I could never leave you now that I’m getting a second chance with the love of my life.”

> Aaron: Way to almost kill me… for a second time!  haha

Ellie screams, “HEY!” as she slaps him on the shoulder.

> Aaron: Ouch! Haha. 
> 
> Ellie: I just have to call my research assistant to tie up some loose ends. I trust her and I’ll get her to ship my items over. 
> 
> Aaron: Are you sure you don’t want to go back and handle it yourself?
> 
> Ellie: Aaron. I only purchased a one way ticket. I never intended on leaving the place I’ve always considered as my Home, not until we made peace with each other. 
> 
> Aaron: Well now that we’ve made peace… Maybe we can make up for three lost years. Haha
> 
> Ellie: You still have a lot of making up to do.
> 
> Aaron: Oh I intend on pleasing you until no end. I expect no less for the love of my life.    
>  Ellie: I wouldn’t want it any other way and with no one else except you. 
> 
> Aaron: I love you Ellie Grace Hallings.
> 
> Ellie: And I love you Aaron James Ramsey. 

  
  



End file.
